Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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