Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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