walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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