sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
