id be glad to
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
