i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
