why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
