Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will be naked everywhere
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
