best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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