I'm gonna have a badass scar
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
