trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
