I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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