I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
