haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
