sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
