Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
