he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
