Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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