If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize