Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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