Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize