after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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