But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
