I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
