he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
