im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
