This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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