i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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