I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
