I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
