you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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