Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize