All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
