I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
