You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
