it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
