So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
