WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
