So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
