Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
