So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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