Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
