So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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