Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
