She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
