I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
