Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
