took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sext me about skeletons
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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