i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
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I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
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Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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