Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
