Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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