i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
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Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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