she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
