Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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