Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
