Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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