Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize