you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
