Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
