I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
