I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
