I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
